Family Forum / Parenting / Spanking / June 2004

A different slant on spanking

By: Meyerhoff, Michael K Volume: 19 Number: 8 ISSN: 07306725
Publication Date: 01-01-2001 Page: 8 Type: Periodical Language: English

Perspectives on Parenting

If you are an alert parent, you probably have surmised that professionals in
the field of psychology have reached something of a consensus on the subject of
spanking. I refer here to a swat on the bottom with a hand, not hitting the
child with any sort of object and no hitting hard enough to cause much more
than a loss of dignity. Thanks to numerous reports that have appeared in the
popular media, it now seems as though there is overwhelming evidence to
suggest that spanking is a highly detrimental practice which not only is
largely ineffective, but also leads inevitably to some degree of emotional
damage. Today, mothers and fathers are aware that any type of corporal
punishment is likely to be viewed as child abuse by those who are authorities
on the subject of early development.

Well, I guess that forces me to stand apart from the crowd. In my opinion,
this across-the-board condemnation of spanking is based more on personal
attitudes than professional studies. And whatever professional studies may be
involved tend to lack a great deal of credibility due to either built-in
biases or faulty research techniques. I have yet to see anything so
substantial and convincing that it would cause me to jump on the anti-spanking
bandwagon.

Most of the assumptions and assertions I've seen about the alleged negative
effects of spanking on a young child's mind set are plagued by what I refer
to as "adultomorphism." The experience is interpreted through the mental and
emotional processes of an adult - mental and emotional processes that are
entirely different than those employed by a young child. It is highly
inappropriate to project one's own thoughts and feelings into the heart and
head of a two-year-old; and most conclusions drawn as a result are highly
likely to be grossly erroneous.

With regard to the studies that appear to demonstrate the long-term
detrimental effects of spanking, most that I've seen suffer from limited
focus. For example, many report something like "85% of the inmates doing time
on death row in a federal prison were spanked when they were young children."
What is not noticed, much less investigated, is that 85% of the graduates of
Harvard Medical School were spanked when they were young children as well.

Meanwhile, my anti-anti-spanking position is not without solid support. As a
researcher with the Harvard Preschool Project, I had the opportunity to
participate in the most comprehensive and extensive study of early development
ever performed. Furthermore, I had the opportunity to look at experiences
that produced "optimal" outcomes as well as those that produced "problems."
We had no pre-set notions. We merely observed what happened in families of all
kinds.

One of the things we discovered was that in two out of three families where
children were developing into bright, happy, well-adjusted, responsible people,
the kids were spanked from time to time - especially in the period from about
18 months to three years of age. The spankings were not frequent, nor were they
brutal, and they never involved paddles, switches, belts, or any other such
equipment. However, a swat on the behind or a slap on the wrist was not an
uncommon occurrence.

What we learned is that discipline is a critically important part of promoting
optimal development, and that effective discipline during this particular
period is quite difficult. In order to teach a child to be personally safe
and respectful of others, it is necessary to "speak" to the child in a
"language" he truly understands. And given the limited cognitive capacities
of a toddler, a small spanking often results in a considerably better
"education" than a prolonged discussion.

Now, I will also distance myself from the "spare the rod, spoil the child"
crowd. After all, we found that one in three families managed to get through
even this difficult period without spanking. Clearly, depending upon the child
and the circumstances, it is possible to be effective with other-than-corporal
procedures. But it is equally clear that with a lot of children in a lot of
circumstances, spanking is preferable to disciplinary techniques that just
aren't working or no discipline at all.

So please note that I am not recommending that all parents place spanking in
their arsenal of child-- rearing techniques. On the contrary, I always urge
mothers and fathers to take steps to avoid as many confrontations with their
young child as possible, and then attempt to deal with those that inevitably
occur with whatever non-corporal methods may reasonably be thought to have a
genuinely educational impact.

Nevertheless, I recognize there are situations where a spanking just may be
the best thing for that particular parent to do for their particular child at
that particular time. So, if your little one starts to stick a fork in an
electrical outlet and you slap his wrist, or if he let' s go of your hand so
he can rush into heavy traffic and you give him a swat on the bottom as you
pull him back, don't beat yourself up. And don't let the dirty looks you get
from holier-than-- thou bystanders or the condemnations from pop psychologists
on TV talk shows convince you that you've done irreparable damage to your
child's psyche. Just make sure that the spankings aren't coming along too
often or getting out of hand.

Otherwise, if you are a loving, caring, sensible parent, I would suggest that
you keep in mind the following adage that was formulated by the late Dr. Louise
Bates Ames, a wise, sweet, gentle woman who was the director of the Gesell
Institute for several decades and regarded as one of the world's foremost
authorities on early education and development: "If you plan on never spanking
your child, you'll probably end up doing it the proper number of times."

By Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed. D.

Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed.D., is executive director of The Epicenter Inc.,
"The Education for Parenthood Information Center," a family advisory and
advocacy agency located in Lindenhurst, Illinois. His e-mail address is
epicntrinc@waol.com.

Meyerhoff, Michael K, A different slant on spanking. , Pediatrics for Parents,
01-01-2001, pp 8.