Family Forum / Parenting / Step Parents / September 2006

Hi im new here, i live in australia with my partner and our 5 children.
We have been waiting a few weeks for results to a dna test
We found out last friday and he drove straight down there to be with
him.
This is all so much mess.my partner knows exactly how i feel, i really
dont have much of
a choice but to get used to it, he is 3 hours away from us, so it is
not really possible
for me to be involved in this boys life, I have to stay here to look
after our other children. so dinners and stuff are out. He says that he
wont be bringing him here to stay with us until he is sorted out, i
think he just wants to lead him on the right track.
I just have to grin and bear it. Our relationship is already
fragile,weve had a lot of problems over the last year. seems when
something just starts to go right that something else happens. All i
ever wanted was a healthy and stable relationship, this is gonna be a
lot to take on, but peter is an important part of my life, I just have
to learn to accept it, no matter how i feel about the situation. this
is all so much shock

for the last week ive not been sleeping, even with taking sleeping
pills it is taking me hours to fall asleep each night. soon as i get in
bed my mind just goes 100 miles an hour.It doesnt help with the boys
mother calling my partner on the phone all the time, she has had a
rough life and is looking up to my partner like he is her counsellor so
to speak, the last 2 days have gotten worse, last night they were on
the phone to each other reguarding the child who is 15. he had been to
a friends house and was high as a kite, they had been smoking drugs,
anyway after my partner had been on the phone to his mother for over an
hour i just lost it, I had a panic attack and he found me sobbing in a
corner, I just dont know how to handle this other life of his, its not
just a son hes taken on, but another family, him and the mother of the
child talk on the phone for hours on end. I just feel so left out and
so distant from him, even though he assures me that his main concern is
our family. im so lost and at the end of my tether, for those who have
been thru this, how did you cope during those first few weeks? any
input would be great.

thanks
Niss