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Family Forum / Parenting / Step Parents / October 2006Summer plans?
I couldn't reply, because it has been over 30 days. I got a big kick out of this: > > [Me] Did you know she relapsed and died? > [Amy] No. Thankyou for letting us know, though. > [Anne] Geez Amy. You do understand that this is the girl's MOTHER posting, right? >Or is that how you always offer condolences when somebody loses their child? >Jesus Christ. > [Amy] Jane, I am sorry if my previous reply to you appeared unsympathetic. I am > very sorry you have lost your beautiful, talented daughter, Lee. I know it > must be very difficult for you and I do wish you the best. > I assumed posting here the other day was not easy for you and that is what I > tried to convey in my previous reply. Obviously I am a total clod at > expressing myself on the internet. > [Anne] Amy, I'm sorry I flipped out on you. I'm in a hyper-vigilant "must > protect Jane" state or something, it makes me act whack. I thought you > meant "Thank you for letting us know" like "whatever, doesn't affect my > life" and I think I went a little nuts there. <breathing, breathing> My first response was "Holy Toledo! I can't post *anything* on ASSP without starting a war. Then I realized that that's just ASSP. Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. Amy, I can attest to Anne's mental state. When she says things like "somebody loses their" she is always extremely upset. I think we all know something of the impotence a person feels when confronted with another's immense grief. Nothing sounds quite right; too little seems dismissive, but too much sounds self-important or presumtuous. One person sent me the poem "...This is to have succeeded," and it just fit Lee so well. Lucky. Anyway, I came to google groups today looking for something - I forget what now, - and I was surprised to see this thread up from 3 months ago. I don't really understand google groups, because I used to post through some other program. When I saw my post and all your replies, I realized that there was something else I would like to say here. Either Lee grew up here, or I did, or both. Participating in ASSP made me a much better mother, step-mother, and wife. Friendships that began here helped to sustain me through Lee's illness and death. At times I felt guilty about spending so much time on the internet, but that was short-sighted. This group used to be, and I hope still is, a great forum for figuring out not only our problems but ourselves. Thank you all. jane >Thank you all. It's warm and fuzzy, but tough. We love you too. Glad to see you. Jess >>Thank you all. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Jess Its the weirdest thing when you follow a newsgroup as a lurker. You get to know people and look forward to reading what they have to say. Ive always felt a bond with certain ones. It must be the sharp wit, humor and delicious sarcasm. To watch this awful tragedy unfold has touched me deeper than i would have ever dreamed possible. I have to admit that i have also done a lot of growing up since I started reading here. It is very helpful to be able to tap into the collective wisdom. People who make you look inside for the answers instead of blaming the bad guys. People who taught me that positive energy can work miracles. People who show that both sides of the coin can be right. Now that this news came out to those of us outside of the family, it all makes so much more sense why this newsgroup shattered the way it has. To you, Jane, thank you for your grace and dignity and strength and humor in the face of devastating loss. I feel a little stronger and able to face hard times ahead. sharon in az > Either Lee grew up here, or I did, or both. Participating in ASSP made > me a much better mother, step-mother, and wife. Friendships that began [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > jane Oh Jane. Still miss you. rebecca >I couldn't reply, because it has been over 30 days. I got a big kick > out of this: [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > jane Jane, I'd heard that Lee was sick, but hadn't heard the latest. I'm very sorry. I can't imagine what this might be like for you. Sheila > "janelaw" <janelaw@gmail.com> wrote in message > > Anyway, I came to google groups today looking for something - I forget > > what now, - and I was surprised to see this thread up from 3 months [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Sheila I've been mostly a lurker on this newsgroup, because I'm not a step-parent. I came here originally because I felt that people here had a clear-eyed constructive view of parenting older children. Jane, I identified with you for reasons I won't go into. But let me say that I rejoiced in Lee's successes, and was terrified when she fell ill. I hadn't heard before this that she was gone. There's very little one can say, in this situation. But I'm thinking of you, even though I don't know you. > Jane, I'd heard that Lee was sick, but hadn't heard the latest. I'm very > sorry. I can't imagine what this might be like for you. > > Sheila Nor had I - I've been seriously ill myself for some time. I'm so very sorry to hear about Lee, and so sorry for Jane's loss. Lori |
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