Family Forum / Parenting / Step Parents / February 2004

Hi

I was diagnose with ADD after a neuropsycholical test 3 years ago. I leave
with somoene since 8 yars, I am going to have 40 next month. I saw my doctor
this week, because of my difficulties to have achievement I am mild
depressed and very anxious, difficulty to meet dealines & concentrate. Last
time I saw her I said I would take a course and try a coach, wich I did.

I have difficulty to confront work market, cv very mixed jobs, changing jobs
many times. Its not getting better with age. I am sensible and make the
decision to postpone always having a family because of insecurity. (sorry my
english, I am not fully bilingual) I met my boyfriend he was divorced with a
son on weekend, his ex-wife completly organized person, woman stereotype:
nurse, clean maniac, educational discipline, decision maker. We have about
the same age. But I am disorganize, affectionate, sensible, bohemian.
I was convince by my husband it would be easier to not have a child
together. Reasons: financial, not making a risk repeating separation, not
excluding the child who was visiting part time, a few years later he was to
old and than, the last, my difficulties to be maternal(?).
He is very patient, not coleric, but have high expectation at same time. I
mean, does not make compliments easily. Sometimes I start to think I have no
influence at all, like I would hope, because of my personnality. I mean, I
have to admit I do not have many friends. Aint miss popularity.

The same year we start to leave together she (ex-wife) remarried and had a
daugther. Her new husband did the experience of working in another country
for $$$ and want to do it again.
They convince my husband to let go his son (6 years old) to go with them.
(to make a short story) It was suppose to be 2 years, but after 3 years the
son wanted to come back with his dad. + the fact of war at the time. They
wanted to stay away and after a year they build a house by the sea and she
is waiting for another child. Still in foreign country. I said I was
surprised about the house, but she believe if they come back to the country,
the son would not come back anyway, because he needs his dad now. He is 12.
So its better to stay away, they believe.

My husband is working a lot, to compensate my low revenue. He is away many
times, so I am with the boy. He is a boy: want to drive me sometimes, having
humour, difficult with the food, used to get better than at home. But I cant
help it, its making me anxious, of tomorrow, of being alone because everyone
thinks I am a looser. Wich I think I am sometimes. So After I saw my doctor,
she ask if my husband would come with me next time.

I am a bit surprise, because my husband always tought it was my problem...

want your feedback

pugfly