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Family Forum / Parenting / Step Parents / January 2006A dad by any other name
Hello group, I'm about to marry a terrific woman with three great kids. Their father is a decent guy, albeit a bit uninvolved in their lives IMHO. As my relationship with these kids (ages 6, 6, and 8) has deepened they have started calling me "dad" on occasion. While this is heart-warming I feel that it would be best if they reserved that title for their real father. Nevertheless, it would be nice if they had something to call me other than my name. So what would that be? "Pa" or "Pop" feels too backwoodsy. Likewiswe, "PaPa", "DaDa", or "Hey You" doesn't feel quite right. How have you other step-fathers handled this? Perhaps I might borrow the word for "Dad" from some other language. Any suggestions? Thanks, Gerry > How have you other step-fathers handled this? Perhaps I might borrow > the word for "Dad" from some other language. Any suggestions? Papi in Spanish, Vatti in German come to mind. Jess http://members.aol.com/alvareze/spanish/right.html father padre, papá (informal) http://german.about.com/library/anfang/blanfang09.htm It is easy to see the close Germanic language "family resemblance" between brother/Bruder, father/Vater, or daughter/Tochter. http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=20010618 father (Modern English) fader (Middle English) faeder (Old English; the ae is the short a sound in cat) fader (Swedish, Norwegian, and Danish) vader (Dutch) vater (German) pater (Latin) padre (Spanish, Italian) père (French) pai (Portugese; they use padre for 'priest') pater (Greek; the -ter is pronounced "tare" and the e should have a macron over it) pitar (Sanskrit) pita (Hindi; the a is pronounced like the a in part and should have a macron over it) Take your pick!:) Hi Gerry Do you, yourself, have a nickname that the kids could call you? While I'm not a step-dad, I'm a step-mom and my skids call me "Pinky" - hence the screen name :) One of the stepmothering books I read suggested a nickname instead of "mom" or by the first name, makes it more personal yet doesn't take away anything from the bio-mom. My skids think they are very cute when they call me that (and they are) and it makes me feel a special connection to them. > Hello group, > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Gerry My step daughter from my first marriage calls me Dad but doesn't treat me like one. My step daughter now calls me by my first name but treats me like a father (or more speciffically like her Dad). I say don't worry so much about what they call you. I thing the biggest and only issue id for the kids to be comfortable. I( have never nor wil I ever force my 3 step kids to call me by anything. It's their choice, most times Im Tracy or Mommy Tracy and thats just fine, the only thing that I have asked them to do(they are 12, 11 and 8) is when talking to their little brother they refer to me as mommy when speaking about me to him. And this is only because I dont want MY son calling me by name. So I would say ...dont worry about it. In the end its their choice. |
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