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Pauline McCleary - 17 Aug 2005 18:40 GMT

My name is Pauline and I am the mother of a 7 year old, a 4 year old (both
boys) and twin girls that are almost 2. I am new here. My husband got a
job in Boston a few months ago and we moved from Illinois in June. Back
home, I had a lot of family around, but here, it is just me and the kids
through the day.

I have found that the girls either are inseparable, or they can't stand to
be near each other. Does anyone else have this? They also 'talk' to each
other all the time. They can say some things that we understand, but mostly
they just talk in their own little language back and forth. I even found
that when one was sick, the other seemed really lost.

Twins don't run in either of our families, so they were a big surprise to
us, but we are trying our best to have fun with them. But, we have no one
to ask for help in dealing with the issues that they bring with them.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with it when they want to be right
next to each other, but at the same time, they don't want to be near each
other?

Thanks, Pauline

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Christy - 18 Aug 2005 04:42 GMT

I feel for you because I myself have twins(boy/girl) that will be 3 in
September. They go thru some of the same things. Sometimes we let
them fight some of their battles out till they get too rough with each
other. They don't mind fighting with each other but no one else can
fight with them or the other one gets very protective. They do share a
very close bond that I hope they carry throughout life. I am not close
with any of my family, actually I am like the "black sheep" and have
little contact with them but have a great relationship with my
husband's family. These are the first set of twins in 4 generations so
this is new to all of us but my husband's family is very supportive.
Only advise I have at this point is to have plenty of patients because
it does seem to get a little easier(if only for a little while...lol)

Christy

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Pauline McCleary - 18 Aug 2005 15:34 GMT

I try to let my girls battle it out too. That's what my mom did with me and
my sister (not twins) and we are pretty close. I think you just have to
find a way to live together.

My family is just the opposite. My family and I are very close and my
husband's family doesn't talk to us much. It hurts my husband some, I
think, when he sees how close my family is to us.

I do my best with patience, but luckily my mom isn't afraid to fly anymore.
She has been here once and is coming again soon.

When does it get easier?

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Seth Jackson - 21 Aug 2005 07:48 GMT

>I try to let my girls battle it out too. That's what my mom did with me and
>my sister (not twins) and we are pretty close. I think you just have to
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
>When does it get easier?

It gets easier the older they get. Our kids are almost 6 now. They
can keep each other busy playing with each other for hours.

Of course, there will be times when they fight over everything. When
that happens, I can't really let them fight it out. One is a boy and
one is a girl, and they boy is usually the aggressor and the stronger
one, and he'd dominate in any fight. I usually have to step in and
either help them negotiate a solution, separate them, and/or issue a
timeout.

--
-Seth Jackson, proud father of Derek and Mariel(10/1/99). Pictures at:
http://hitmeister.home.mindspring.com/familypictures.html

Music links: www.mp3.com/SethJackson
www.mp3.com/loudspeaker
www.SethJackson.net

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Family Forum / Parenting / Twins / August 2005

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