Family Forum / Parenting / Twins / November 2005

don't know about this from an older twin stand point, but my almost 19 month
olds don't like to be separated.  They are fraternal but tend to act
identical, especially when the other is hurt.  I have boy/girl twins.  My
son has had two trips to the ER and the first time she didn't go and she was
hysterical the whole time he was gone.  The second time, she was with us
when he needed stitches.  She was out of the room with her Daddy while he
was stitched up, but she was crying with him before.

They tend to cry one at a time then together when they get their shots as
well.  One will start and then the other, even though the other isn't
getting the shot.

Just my thoughts.

Are your girls identical or fraternal???  How did they do with separation
growing up?  Did you keep them together in classes or separate them?  Just
looking for more info on twins in general.  I've heard from other moms
different things and just thought I would ask.

Take care,
God Bless,
Julie
Mom to Ashleigh & Austin ~ 19 months on the 16th

For what it's worth -- I think the reaction is very normal.  As a
mother, grandmother of 7 (including 2 sets of twins), and a therapist
-- I've heard a lot of similar stories.  I know that when my older son
(by 21 months) left for college, his younger brother was really 'lost'
without the companionship and the normal routine they had shared for so
many years...although he had plenty of friends and a prety good life in
school and the community, he had trouble sleeping (I remember asking my
husband if he thought we'd have this "big kid" in bed with us again,
because he'd come into our room at night when we were all getting ready
for bed, and just 'hang out' and we couldn't get rid of him!).   If you
can empathize with her and see this as a normal 'transition,' she will
probably pass through this stage. Of course, if your 'gut' tells you
that it is too long, too extreme, too distracting from her life...then
you might want to consider getting professional help.
Give her lots of hugs, and let her know that this is an understandable
"loss" in her life.  
Grandmom Gwen