Parenting advice - Rebelious kid

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dadindistress - 30 Oct 2006 18:37 GMT

Hi,

A bit at the end of my teather with my 2 year old. Basically hes usually a
little angel I mean that. But lately since the arrival of his baby brother
he has started playing up big time. He won't do as he's told believe it or
not he most of the time will do as you ask, hes pretty good like that. Now
you ask him to eat or put something in the bin etc he says no and just
stands there looking at you like now what you going to do expression.

Thats it in brief really, doesn't sound as tiring as it is dealing with him.

We don't think its a jealously thing as he love healping out with the baby.

Maybe just a phase ?

Any advice on what to do ?

Anybody want to buy a 2 year old ? lol

thanks

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mike@emgee.demon.co.uk - 30 Oct 2006 19:23 GMT

> Hi,
>
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
>
> Anybody want to buy a 2 year old ? lol

Naw doesn't sound like an interesting or different one. The market in
normal two year olds isn't that hot at the moment.

> thanks

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Welches - 30 Oct 2006 19:25 GMT

> Hi,
>
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
> We don't think its a jealously thing as he love healping out with the
> baby.

I think it is probably a jealousy thing. It sounds attention seeking. Yes,
he may love helping with his brother too, but he wants your attention back
entirely on him.
I would try and use something like "put it in the bin and then we can read a
story together" for a few weeks. Then when he's done it you can say how
helpful he was putting it in the bin etc.
Once he's back back on track you can gradually stop it.
Once tactic that works with my pair is "I can be first to put it in the
bin", or "I'm putting the carrot here and it's not going to be eaten is
it?". Then feign amazement and wonder that it's gone "It hasn't been
eaten-has it fallen on the floor". Even my 6yo thinks this is funny and will
do all sorts for it. It's something we've used since she was about 2yo.
You can even do a mini temper "I wanted to be first to put it in the bin.
It's not fair!"
Debbie

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Jenn - 30 Oct 2006 20:21 GMT

>> Hi,
>>
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>> We don't think its a jealously thing as he love healping out with the
>> baby.

It could be all sorts of things - all three of mine have had
'personality changes' at various points - mostly at around 18 months to
2 years, where it appears they discover that actually they don't _have_
to do as they are told, and they start to push the adults around them to
see how much they can get away with. It came as a shock with the first,
and I'd hoped we were past it with the last but it'd rearing it's ugly
head again. Unfortunately I've not found a way through this that works
particularly well, it's really been a wait it out and try to be
consistent thing here.

Equally it could be a communication thing - he wants to let you know
something, but can't get it across and it comes out as defiance and
frustration. Or he could be having trouble understanding what you want
(less likely if he's already been doing what you ask.) Perhaps
explaining things thoroughly could help here?

Alternatively there usually comes a point when kids realise that a new
baby is for life, not just a few weeks. Perhaps the novelty has worn
off, or more disturbed sleep is having an effect on behaviour? Perhaps
some dedicated one-to-one time may help, or ensuring that your DS gets
enough sleep and doesn't have his routines turned too much upside down.

It may also be that you have a lower tolerance - due to being split
between the two kids, or lack of sleep etc and that things that didn't
bug you as much before are now just irritating and you don't get time to
calm down. If you think that might be that then taking a little time to
yourself when you are stressed may help.

Hope there's some help in there for you,

Signature

Jenn
UK, mum to L 01/99, M 04/02, J 05/04

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Lorenzo - 30 Oct 2006 20:12 GMT

I think this goes with the territory of having a two year old. Our DD is
nearly 2 and does just the same thing. I posted earlier asking for advice
on how to impose the boundaries. Like yours, our DD was always very
co-operative until recently when "no" became favourite word, along with the
random decision to go stiff when we are putting her in car seat etc.

Our tactic is just to ignore bad behavour when possible, and not give in to
her demands. In fact we often DO give in to the demands but make it appear
as though we are not. If she screams for something we will never give it to
her without calming her down and getting her to ask nicely. She seems a
good bit better.

My original post was on how to stop her tipping out her plate at mealtimes,
and she has stopped that (since we watched her carefully and took it off her
before she could complete the manouevre, and then insisted on feeding her
"like a baby").

I can sympathise because it it tricky enough with only one to deal with.
Good luck.

> Hi,
>
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
>
> thanks

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Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / October 2006

Parenting advice - Rebelious kid