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Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / July 2008What do we tell our 5yo?
Hi, I've not posted for ages because we haven't had any 'need' to (although I still look on here and see what's happening etc.) Anyway... to cut a long story short, I am having to go into residential therapy for an Eating Disorder (wef tomorrow) - yeah, I know I'm old etc. but hey - it's not all teenage girls apparently - lol. We have got childcare in place for now - J has gone to his grandparents to stay until next Saturday - they were due to come here and cover half term, but they are happy, and he is delighted, to be going there instead (he loves being all 'grown-up' and allowed to go on sleepovers). J is back next Saturday, and we aren't sure what position I will be in re 'allowed visitors, wanting visitors, allowed out on 'release for good behaviour' or anything, and we don't really know what to say to him. Has anybody had any experiences of this, and can you give any advice, bearing in mind only my parents and 2 other VERY close friends know (we're not even telling my husband's parents for now). Work just know that I've been signed off for 6 weeks - NOTHING ELSE (although they might guess as people were starting to mention things - but that's irrelevant.Work is not an issue. I have managed to book J into school care so hubby will be able to manage (with fall-back on these 2 close friends that know) around his work. But it's just what do we tell him. We don't want to frighten him, or lie to him, but at the same time, we don't want him telling everybody that mummy is in hospital (which we will have to tell him if he comes to visit me). TIA everybody - great to be back amongst you - just wish it was under easier circumstances S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) All I can tell you is what I am telling my 2 (7 and 5) about why I am going into hospital shortly to be assessed for a lung transplant. Of course, I know that I will only be in for four days and I guess you don't know how long you will be in for, but I've never been away from them for that length of time without seeing them. Anyway, I've told them I am going into hospital so the doctors can give me a full check up to see how my lungs are doing. Which is the truth in a way they can understand and that I don't mind if they tell everyone. I'm not going to tell them about the transplant investigation until we know whether I am a candidate. Is there a similar version of the truth that you can tell J? I think it is best to keep as close to the truth as you can without scaring children. love C > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) Dear S, I'm sorry you are in the situation you find yourself. If I were you I would phone and ask a therapist for advice. They should be able to advise you on what you can say to James. At his age he seems too young to be able to have the responsibility of knowing where you are but then being asked not to tell anyone. Parents don't always tell the truth to their children, they tell them what they know the child can handle and what they themselves are comfortable with at the time. Or they tell them a simplistic version. Mary Ann > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) J is coping very will with the fact that mummy is away (it will be a 4 week stay) - and daddy is coping even better!!! He just knows that mummy is there to get better and will be home very soon. Thanks for the advice - hope you are all well. S > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) >J is coping very will with the fact that mummy is away (it will be a 4 week >stay) - and daddy is coping even better!!! [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > S Hope it goes well and M gets "better" very quickly and without any complications. Debbie > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) How are things going? Are you back home now? Hope it's all going better than to plan! Debbie Hi - I've had 'Parole' from the hospital for the weekend - but I have got another week in residential and then up to 8 weeks of day-care and 1:1 therapy sessions (but I'm allowed to live at home then) It's damn hard - and I don't realy know if it's working. All I know is that they are feeding me 6 times a day and I feel like an elephant :-( My head needs a lot of attention though. Thanks for asking. S >> Hi, >> [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > Hope it's all going better than to plan! > Debbie > Hi - I've had 'Parole' from the hospital for the weekend - but I have got > another week in residential and then up to 8 weeks of day-care and 1:1 [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Thanks for asking. From what I've heard, adjusting to normal size potions is really difficult - I hope you are getting plenty of support.  SignaturePenny Gaines UK mum to three Thanks for all of your messages. I've got "parole" again this weekend from the hospital - lol. I thought I was being discharged yesterday, but they have recommended a further 2 weeks of in-patient/residential care. - won't be long now though as the insurance money runs out, and we can't afford the £5000 a week costs! I'm determined to make it work! s > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) > Thanks for all of your messages. I've got "parole" again this weekend from > the hospital - lol. I thought I was being discharged yesterday, but they [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > s Good to hear from you S. Best wishes with your continued care. It sounds like you are well on the road to recovery. Mary Ann > Thanks for all of your messages. I've got "parole" again this weekend from > the hospital - lol. I thought I was being discharged yesterday, but they [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > I'm determined to make it work! Keep going! Good luck for the last 2 weeks. Debbie Parole again - lol. I'm struggling at the moment. I want it all to be 'fixed' now and everything to be 'normal'. I'm getting frustrated and extremely disappointed that I'm not seeing where my problems are. DH is being amazing. Not only has he had ds by himself for 7 weeks, he has supported me like you would never believe through this. He's the one that I turn-on when it's tough. He's the one that gets all the abuse on the phone when I'm down. But he's still here and has made me fall in love with him all over again. Hope you are all well. S > Hi, > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > S (Mum to James 5.5yo - can you believe it eh??) |
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