Re: The Art of Letting Go

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that's holding on
how do I start to live my life alone
guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go
-Mikaila

Many of us want a lot of things in life, material objects that can
symbolize our status and success. Most people dream of owning a house
and lot, having a successful career or business, and be part of a
healthy and happy family. Aside from property and recognition, people
also crave after the security and fulfillment of an intimate
relationship. When we think that we have found a good partner, we are
overjoyed and believe that life is now complete.

However, when things go wrong and the relationship reaches an end, we
go through varied emotions that seem to rip our soul apart. We go
through anger, despair, grief, sadness, and depression. We feel lost
and adrift, unsure what our next move should be.

But there is an even more painful experience than ending a
relationship. People who break-up or end up in divorce still have a
chance, no matter how remote, of reconciliation or ending up as
friends. But for people who physically lose their partners endure an
even more painful separation. The death of a loved one brings about an
incomparable level of pain. Losing people who are dear to us leaves us
in grief and in confusion about how to go about the next important
step: letting go.

Letting go of a relationship that has meant everything to us is not an
easy thing to do. But whether we like it or not, it has to be done if
we want to move on. No matter how hard we try, we cannot live in the
past nor stay forever in the present. To live, we must move on and
look to the future. To truly move on in life, we need to achieve
closure from the past.
How do we let go and move on? Letting go of a relationship involves
letting go of feelings and emotions such as anger, animosity and
resentment that one may feel towards a partner. One should not bottle
up emotions because it may even lead to some health problems. Allowing
oneself to grieve over the loss of a relationship may be healthy, but
there should be a limit to the amount of time we spend on grieving.
While it is normal to be emotionally distressed by the loss of a loved
one, it is not advisable to allow one's self to wallow in grief and
sadness --- a negative emotional condition that can become a self-
defeating habit.

One should also envision other possibilities and not to dwell on the
“what-might-have-beens.” Letting go of a relationship involves
recognizing that it was not meant to be and that one should set new
goals and start to build a new life. A person in grief must eventually
realize that the relationship has run its course and that it is time
to let go.

Often, when we have been in a really good relationship for some time,
we tend to lose of our identity. Letting go should also mean letting
go of dependency. It is something that needs to be learned to enable a
person to veer away from overdependency on others.

If one is to truly let go of a relationship, he or she has to forget
all the apprehensions, worries, fear and anxiety of being alone.
Ending a relationship doesn't mean that we have to close ourselves
from falling in love again. It is true that relationships may entail
experiencing some episodes of sadness, but they also come with moments
of great pleasure. For many of us, life would not be complete without
the combination of both.

Just as it takes two to tango, it also takes two to make a
relationship work. One should not dwell on the past and think on what
could have done better to make the relationship work. We all have been
hurt and life always gives us some valuable lessons that will provide
us some guidance for our journey ahead.

When one is ready to let go of a relationship and reconcile with the
fact that the past is past, one can experience an enormous weight
being lifted off the shoulders. There is a sense of accomplishment
that will come out of the whole experience, making us a better person.

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