Re: Loosen the Apron Strings - Alcohol

I think you did exactly the right thing and you've described our rules about
alcohol consumption for teens. Here it isn't illegal for under-18s to drink
alcohol at private homes and we have allowed kids to bring in their coolers
and beer cans from Year 10 or 16 years old. We also have the "two cooler"
rule. That's plenty to give them a mild buzz and to help learn their limits
in a controlled environment with out anyone getting drunk.

I am very torn about this, though. Current research tells us that alcohol
should be avoided while the brain is still developing and that's supposed be
until the age of 25. But how do we  manage that knowledge with the social
reality of legally unfettered drinking at 18 and the feeling that it is
irresponsible of us as parents not to teach out children who to drink
moderately and responsibly? I suspect that when our 8 year old is 16 the
laws may have been tightened to stop non-related under-18s drinking in
private homes and we'll abide by that happily enough.

Thought I would ask how others handle the Alcohol issue with their
teenagers.

We (my wife and I) drink socially, but not much at all.  Maybe once a
month or so, if people are over.  We have allowed our 16 year old to
have a couple of drinks at special occasions (New Years Eve, etc.).  Our
thoughts are that she will probably drink at some point and we would
just as well she experience it first with our supervision.  Myself
personally and my wife, both starting drinking alcohol at age 16.  We
drank a lot more when we were younger.  My wife stays away from it,
because her father drank way too much.

Our first experience was when our oldest was in Grade 10 and barely 16.
  One of her hockey teammates (her coaches daughter) was turning 17 and
her parents were having a party for her.  The party was in their house
and the parents would be chaperoning.  The parents made sure we were
aware that there would be alcohol at the party.  In our jurisdiction it
is illegal to drink until age 18.  But apparently this happens quite a bit.

Our first instinct was to say she couldn't go.  Then that she could go,
but wasn't allowed to drink.  We ended up buying her two 'coolers' and
let her go to the party.  We dropped her off and picked her up.  I guess
we have set the precedent that our kids can drink once they are in Grade
10.  Thankfully, this daughter isn't all that social and hasn't asked to
do anything like this since.

We recently had a fight with our second daughter who is 14 and in Grade
9.  They have a small graduation ceremony (from Junior High) and our
daughter wanted to be able to go to a party where drinking would be
happening.  Supposedly, everyone was going to be there.  We held our
ground and told her it wasn't allowed until she was in Grade 10 and even
then only when supervised.

This daughter is very social and I have no doubt she will be asking to
go to parties all the time in grade ten (a couple of months away).

What to do?????