Re: Loosen the Apron Strings - Alcohol

I think it is fair to say that alcohol among middle schoolers (at least) is
comparitively higher then it used to be!

Vickie

(snip)

Elementary school aged children becoming alcoholics is pretty much
unheard of now too.

And whether you ever heard of elementary school aged children drinking
alcohol or not,  several decades ago when I was 12 and 13, I had
friends who were experimenting with alcohol.
13 (and that was several decades ago).

I wasn't talking about the legal drinking age.   I was talking about the age
at which some children are beginning to drink alcohol *these days*.
Elementary age school age children drinking alcohol (or even becoming
alcoholics) was pretty much unheard of several decades ago.

Well, but you weren't around back then, and I was.   (And please don't just
say it wasn't "reported" back then, but it is now, and that's the only, or
even the main, difference).

I'm not comparing to 10 years ago.    I'm comparing it to 6 decades ago.

You call that "caring"??    That's not caring, that's avoiding
responsibility.   It's not just "they have the wrong idea".

On what do you base that assertion?

When did it fall and from what to what? Anywhere I look it has risen to 21.
Here in VT when I was a kid, the age was 18. Now it is 21.

(I think the drinking age is dumb too.)

Nothing really. It does not tell me anything abut how this is worse than it
used to be.

All of what I have heard is that teen pregnancy is DOWN. Except in red
staes, which just cracks me up.

I think you can say these parents have the wrong idea. But it is their
caring that has them thinking they are helping their children.

It's much more common today.   And the "drinking age" has fallen.   Heck,
even some elementary school age children are now into alcohol, or even
alcoholics themselves!    What does that tell you???    And THAT increasing
prevalence HAS been a recent societal change.  (ditto for the number of kids
born to unwed and/or teenage moms).    Viva La Progresso...

"Absentee parenting" means "there is no one home", in the broader sense -
NOT literally.   IOW, they are a bit "out to lunch" in the parenting dept.
Like giving in to their child's demands because it's just "too much work"
not to, or, they are just too clueless to even understand the
ramifications - OR both of the above.

Except it really isn't since it was prevalent when I was a teenaer as well.

How are they being absent? I think the idea is meritless. But the one thing
you can't accuse the parents of being, in thiss case, is absent.

"Bizarre" is an understatement.   But it's just a sign of the times.   It's
just yet another example of absentee parenting - done by "parents" who
themselves are irresponsible.

I think it is completely nuts. But it was happening even back when I was a
kid. All that happened was that whatever sanity we had around alcohol was
completely abandoned in favor of relying on the grown ups to keep us from
dying.

Me too.

I'm surprised.  I know people (including myself and my wife) who will
occasionally let our teenagers have a very small glass of wine with us
at dinner.  I would never do this for someone _else's_ teenager.

So to me sponsoring a party fo 16 year olds where it is _generally_
expected that these kids will be drinking sounds very strange.

The idea that there is a _junior_ high graduation party where drinking
is being tolerated by adults seems simply bizarre to me.

Thought I would ask how others handle the Alcohol issue with their
teenagers.

We (my wife and I) drink socially, but not much at all.  Maybe once a
month or so, if people are over.  We have allowed our 16 year old to
have a couple of drinks at special occasions (New Years Eve, etc.).  Our
thoughts are that she will probably drink at some point and we would
just as well she experience it first with our supervision.  Myself
personally and my wife, both starting drinking alcohol at age 16.  We
drank a lot more when we were younger.  My wife stays away from it,
because her father drank way too much.

Our first experience was when our oldest was in Grade 10 and barely 16.
  One of her hockey teammates (her coaches daughter) was turning 17 and
her parents were having a party for her.  The party was in their house
and the parents would be chaperoning.  The parents made sure we were
aware that there would be alcohol at the party.  In our jurisdiction it
is illegal to drink until age 18.  But apparently this happens quite a bit.

Our first instinct was to say she couldn't go.  Then that she could go,
but wasn't allowed to drink.  We ended up buying her two 'coolers' and
let her go to the party.  We dropped her off and picked her up.  I guess
we have set the precedent that our kids can drink once they are in Grade
10.  Thankfully, this daughter isn't all that social and hasn't asked to
do anything like this since.

We recently had a fight with our second daughter who is 14 and in Grade
9.  They have a small graduation ceremony (from Junior High) and our
daughter wanted to be able to go to a party where drinking would be
happening.  Supposedly, everyone was going to be there.  We held our
ground and told her it wasn't allowed until she was in Grade 10 and even
then only when supervised.

This daughter is very social and I have no doubt she will be asking to
go to parties all the time in grade ten (a couple of months away).

What to do?????