Re: Loosen the Apron Strings - Alcohol

Maybe it is where I live, but it has been like this for a long time.  I
actually think the teenagers now are more responsible than when I was
there some 30 years ago.  We used to just drive around and drink.  Get
someone of age to buy the booze and then drive around the country
drinking and throwing bottles at signs.  The teens now, seem to be more
responsible.  They have designated drivers (something we never had).

When I went to college, drinking was out of control.  Every Thursday
night and every weekend.  People getting major intoxicated.  That was
almost 30 years ago.  My brother who is 10 years older went through the
same.  My father talked about parties where they would buy 24 beer
(cause it was so cheap), put it on a sleigh and walk six miles to a
party in the next town, drinking all the way there.  That was some 60
years ago.

I think the only real change now is the problem with 'cell phones'.
When we were growing up, you could organize a party, have your 10 or 20
friends there and everyone knew everyone and things were under control.
   Now with cell phones, a couple of hundred people can become aware of
the party in an instant.  All of a sudden you can have a hundred
strangers show up for the party.  This is where damage to property and
large fights occur.  This is also why I would never host a 'drinking'
party for any of our children, even when they are of age.

I think the average kids now are more responsible than they were when I
was growing up.  I know my own children and their close friends are.
But I think the 'bad' kids now are much worse than when I was growing
up.  The 'bad' kids when I was growing up, would steal some gas, or get
in fights.  Now they are stabbing and killing each other.

On Jun 30, 7:50 pm, Doug Anderson <ethelthelogremovet...@gmail.com>
wrote:

I read this thread yesterday and had so much to say that I decided not
to say anything. I still feel overwhelmed by it all. I can't express
to you the serious problems with alcohol use and abuse on our campus--
I know this is older than the age you all are talking about, but the
one must relate to the other. The number of young women crying in my
office after date rape/unprotected sex (pregnancies, STDs), gang-
banged...and about one young man drowns in our river every year,
drunk.

It is too much, and my mouth hurts very much so I won't say anymore
today (yup, hurts all the way down to my fingertips). I'm scared for
*all* these young people.

It is very different from my own teenage-early college years, tho I
did overindulge more than once.

Fill

I'm surprised.  I know people (including myself and my wife) who will
occasionally let our teenagers have a very small glass of wine with us
at dinner.  I would never do this for someone _else's_ teenager.

So to me sponsoring a party fo 16 year olds where it is _generally_
expected that these kids will be drinking sounds very strange.

The idea that there is a _junior_ high graduation party where drinking
is being tolerated by adults seems simply bizarre to me.

Thought I would ask how others handle the Alcohol issue with their
teenagers.

We (my wife and I) drink socially, but not much at all.  Maybe once a
month or so, if people are over.  We have allowed our 16 year old to
have a couple of drinks at special occasions (New Years Eve, etc.).  Our
thoughts are that she will probably drink at some point and we would
just as well she experience it first with our supervision.  Myself
personally and my wife, both starting drinking alcohol at age 16.  We
drank a lot more when we were younger.  My wife stays away from it,
because her father drank way too much.

Our first experience was when our oldest was in Grade 10 and barely 16.
  One of her hockey teammates (her coaches daughter) was turning 17 and
her parents were having a party for her.  The party was in their house
and the parents would be chaperoning.  The parents made sure we were
aware that there would be alcohol at the party.  In our jurisdiction it
is illegal to drink until age 18.  But apparently this happens quite a bit.

Our first instinct was to say she couldn't go.  Then that she could go,
but wasn't allowed to drink.  We ended up buying her two 'coolers' and
let her go to the party.  We dropped her off and picked her up.  I guess
we have set the precedent that our kids can drink once they are in Grade
10.  Thankfully, this daughter isn't all that social and hasn't asked to
do anything like this since.

We recently had a fight with our second daughter who is 14 and in Grade
9.  They have a small graduation ceremony (from Junior High) and our
daughter wanted to be able to go to a party where drinking would be
happening.  Supposedly, everyone was going to be there.  We held our
ground and told her it wasn't allowed until she was in Grade 10 and even
then only when supervised.

This daughter is very social and I have no doubt she will be asking to
go to parties all the time in grade ten (a couple of months away).

What to do?????